First Time
by lissy303
Summary: Alistair contemplates his relationship with his fellow Warden and decides that he's ready for the next step. Of course, admitting that out loud is more difficult than he thought. Alistair/F!Cousland


_A/N: I admit, I YouTube videos of the crazy things the party members say to each other. It was then that I discovered that Alistair could ask you to spend the night and you didn't necessarily need to ask him. I waited and waited and waited for him to ask me, and had just gotten to the point of asking him when his cut scene came along. I admit, I squeed! He is by far the most adorable man ever. How could you possibly say no? Also – I'm just terrible with titles._

_Disclaimer: Not mine, just having fun BioWare's amazing characters. _

It was a peaceful night at the camp. They had spent the day relaxing near a bubbling stream, catching up on some much needed rest after their experience at Haven. The ruined temple had been draining, both physically and mentally, but it had begun a healing process for many of the members, especially Elissa. After her encounter with the memory of her father, there was a new life to Elissa that none of the members of the party had seen before. She seemed lighter, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Her smile was real, her laughter contagious, and Alistair only found more reasons to be in love with her.

As if he needed more reasons to begin with.

Alistair smiled at the memory of when he gave her his rose. He was quite proud that he managed to give his little speech without tripping over his words too many times, and was even happier when he realized that he completely took her by surprise. Her cheeks had flushed almost as red as the rose itself, and her coy smile managed to make his stomach do a backflip. He couldn't keep his own grin off his face for the rest of the evening.

He had not been nearly as eloquent right before the first time he kissed her. He spoke almost incoherently, stammering constantly as his cheeks set on fire. He finally managed to say that he cared for her, and awkwardly asked if she could ever feel the same way. Her eyes were at her feet, one foot nervously digging at the ground, and Alistair could only think how similar to young school children they were. Then again, they probably each had as much experience as young school children.

In such a small voice he could barely hear, she muttered, "I think I already do." She nervously glanced up at Alistair, cheeks just as red as they were when he gave her his rose, and he could only smile. Awkwardly and gently, he moved in to kiss her.

Since then, the pair became inseparable. They spent their days traveling beside each other, their nights in front of the fire, going their separate ways only when sleep called. They snuck in walks through the forest together, away from the prying eyes and giggles from their fellow travelers. There, they explored each other more. Sometimes they would talk, but mostly they were silent, save for a few moans and gasps. Though they ventured farther each time they were together, and though he could tell Elissa was ready for more, Alistair was not. It had been drilled into his head that he needed to wait until marriage, and as a Templar, he would never marry, so it would only make sense that he would never…

But Alistair was in love. And Elissa loved him. He had never trusted anyone so completely, so wholly, in his life. And while his mind consistently held him back when he was with Elissa, he was not unaware of what his body wanted. It was becoming more and more difficult to pull himself away from her during their times together, especially when he saw the looks of want and need in her eyes. He decided tonight would be the night. So with the bravery of a warrior, Alistair squared his shoulders and walked out of his tent to search for his love.

He looked around the camp at his companions. Each of them was relaxing, enjoying the calm weather and the peacefulness of their location. Leliana was strumming her lute, enjoying the quiet company of Zevran and Oghren. Wynne was dozing next to the fire with a book spread open on her lap. Morrigan had ventured closer to the group than normal, her own book set on her lap, though she was gazing out into the forest, a dazed yet peaceful look on her face. Even Sten held a relaxed pose as he leaned against a rock, looking almost content.

Elissa was off to the side, playing tug-of-war with a piece of fabric her dog had picked up off the side of the road. She was crouched down, growling along with her dog and laughing as Jamie jumped side to side. Alistair quietly came up behind them, enjoying the scene. Elissa seemed so innocent, like a girl who had never seen war and the horrors that he knew she had. That she was able to act like this, even after all that she had been through, made his heart swell.

Elissa turned as she heard his footsteps approaching, giving Jamie the perfect opportunity to yank back, causing her to sprawl face first into the dirt. The dog happily danced around in a circle as his mistress laughed and brought herself to her feet. She looked at him, smiling, and Alistair could not help but smile back.

"Sorry about that. Didn't mean to put you off your guard," he said casually, though his nerves were beginning to kick in.

She just laughed cheerfully, brushing off his apology. "No worry, he was winning anyway." Jamie came prancing towards Elissa, the dirty cloth still dangling from his mouth. "Oh, Jamie…" she muttered, not quite wanting to accept his gift. "Jamie, you're always showering me with the most wonderful gifts, but I think the others are starting to get jealous." Jamie cocked his head to the side, looking curiously at her. "Oh, come now, you don't want the others to think that you don't like them, do you?" The dog whined, glancing at Alistair. Elissa threw a wink his way, making his heart flutter, before turning back to her dog. "I love your gifts, I truly do, but I want you to share them with the others as well. Why don't you run those over to Sten? I'm sure he would love them!" Jamie gave a muffled woof and pranced over to the sitting warrior.

Elissa laughed and came to stand next to Alistair, watching her dog run away. "You know, I know that there's a Blight going on, and a civil war, and that there's so much death and destruction, but it's moments like these… like playing tug-of-war with your dog, that give you hope." Silently, they watched Jamie drop his gift into Sten's lap. Sten pulled his hand away in disgust, sighed, and patted the dog's head, who happily stretched along his side. "Seeing Sten receive a dirty pair of pantaloons is also just really funny," Elissa said, smirking.

Any hesitation Alistair felt disappeared. He looked at Elissa, who was still gazing out into the distance, and realized that the timing could never be more right.

Now all he had to do was ask her.

Yet try as he might, words were failing to come to him. He nervously looked around, well aware that the rest of them could very easily hear him. Should he ask her for a stroll through the forest first? But then the others would be on the look for them, and it would be far too obvious when they returned to only one tent. What if Zevran or Oghren or Wynne… or quite frankly, _any_ of them overheard? None of them knew how to mind their own business and would certainly love to jump into the conversation. And then what? What if…

As the internal battle raged inside Alistair's head, Elissa turned her gaze back to him, joy fading from her face as concern took over. Alistair trembled as she raised an eyebrow, questioning his hesitation. He took a deep breath, facing her. "All right, I guess I really don't know how to ask you this."

Elissa also turned to face him. "Are you sweating?"

"No!" Alistair replied, a little too quickly. _Wrong_, he thought, feeling the perspiration on his forehead. "I, I mean… yes. I mean, I'm a little nervous. Sure. Not that this is anything bad, or frightening, or… well, yes." Elissa's face relaxed slightly as she realized nothing was wrong, and a twinkle returned to her eyes. Alistair wasn't sure if that comforted him or made him more nervous. He hung his head, not quite able to look her in the eye, as he tried to formulate the proper words in his head. "Uh, how do I say this… you think this would be easy, but every time I'm around you, I feel as if my head's about to explode. I can't think straight."

As he glanced back up, he noticed that Elissa's eyebrow rose even further, and the twinkle in her eye shone even brighter. "Oh? Thanks a lot." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, indicating she knew he meant her no harm. Still, Alistair flushed as he realized what he said.

"Oh, I don't mean it like that," he said, rubbing his eyes with his hand, trying to find the best words to use. "I mean…. Ugh. All right, let me start over." He heard a chuckle escape Elissa, and when he looked at her again, he realized not only was she trying very hard to keep a smile off of her face, but she was failing miserably. He gave an exasperated sigh, cursing his lack of charisma around her, but squared his shoulders again, determined to say what he needed.

"Here's the thing. Being with you… makes me crazy. But I can't imagine being without you. Not… ever." He glimpsed at her face again. Her smile had faded, the twinkle in her replaced by something… _more_. Alistair felt his heart flutter, and continued on, a bit more confident than before. "I don't know how to say this another way… I want to spend the night with you. Here, in the camp." When she didn't respond immediately, his nerves began to take over once more. "Maybe this is too fast. I don't know, but I know what I feel."

Her expression was full of longing and love, yet still a hint of concern. "You want to spend the night?" She asked, not quite convinced. "Are you sure?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place, but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't have even met. We sort of… stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you, in between all the fighting and everything else. I really don't want to wait any more. I've… I've never done this before. You know that." He took a step forward, gently cupping her face in his hand. "I want it to be with you..."

He should have stopped there, but underneath all of the love and hope he felt around Elissa, his fears and panic began to bubble to the surface. "…While we still have the chance… in case…"

Elissa grabbed his hand that was holding her face, and reached out with her other hand to gently place a finger over his lips, silencing him. "I thought you'd never ask."

Alistair smiled nervously, but his fears disappeared when her lips met his in a gentle yet powerful kiss, each attempting to convey all the love they held for each other. As Alistair wrapped his arms around her waist, he realized that he was exactly where he should be.


End file.
